Mantra for the New Millennium

We’re all awesome!

We’re all digitally connected.

We’re all on Facebook and have 1,600 “friends.”

We’re all LinkedIn and hooked-up six ways to Tuesday.

We all text, TikTok, Tweet and Zoom from across the room, but despise each other in person.

We all network and share our personal information, “NP.”

We all upload, download, and post, and have no concept of privacy or real intimacy.

We all live vicariously on YouTube.

We all have dreams of going viral, but can’t interpret the meaning of our nocturnal dreams.

We’re all entrepreneurial—big-time!

We’re all aspiring technology moguls, businessmen, and businesswomen.

We’re all crazy competitive and have mad skills.

We all have awesome business models, killer marketing strategies, and off-the-map product lines.

We’re all ready to blow-up, launch, go-wide, roll-it-out, and take it on up to the next level.

We’re all up-to-our-eyeballs in credit card debt and student loans.

We all have bad teeth, can’t afford health insurance, and can barely make rent.

We’re all Awesome!

We all have enough participation trophies to fill a warehouse, but don’t understand their value.

We all have awesome tattoos, nose rings, tongue posts, nipple rings, and face piercings.

We all feel emotionally mutilated and have been beaten and sexually abused.

We all have smartphones, iPods, iPads, Bluetooth, and more Apps than Jesus.

We all can’t find our pulse, nor can we appreciate the sound of our own heartbeat.

We’re all stoked, pumped, amped, and jacked on Red Bull, Monster, and 5-Hour Energy.

We’re all sleep deprived, have little sense of nutrition, and live mostly on fast foods.

We all smoke, drink, sniff, snort, and vape, and are wired on prescription drugs 14 hours a day.

We’re all on the same page. If you’re for it, we’re against it. Boom! End of discussion.

We all hate the government and don’t believe or trust anyone.

We all hate politics, politicians, teachers, police, bankers, and the mainstream media.

We can all drive to the local Dunkin’ Doughnuts blindfolded, but can’t locate Ukraine on a map.

We all support individual identities, but don’t give rat’s ass about the plight of POC in Yemen.

We all think cheating and getting over is respectable and something to be admired.

We’re all freaking Awesome!

We’re all terrified of being canceled, outsourced, and jabbed out of existence.

We all have zero savings and can’t see a future past the following Thursday.

We’re all feel entitled, but secretly resent the idea of moving back home with our parents.

We all have a marginal idea of who we are, and barely know each other beyond Twitter handles.

We all live in fear of being raped, murdered, and imprisoned, and live distant, digital lives.

We’re all confused and don’t have a clue how the world got to where it is today.

We all believe this is our inheritance. Like hey—we’re not the cause. We’re the effect.

We all close our eyes at night and wish to God we lived on another planet in another universe.

John Califano