Mantra for the New American Century

We’re all awesome!

We’re all digitally connected

We’re all on Facebook and have 1,600 “friends”

We’re all LinkedIn and hooked-up six ways to Tuesday

We all Skype, Tweet, and text from across the room, but despise each other in person

We all network and share our personal information, “np”

We all upload, download, and post, and have no concept of privacy or real intimacy

We all live vicariously on YouTube 

We all have dreams of going viral, but can’t interpret or understand the meaning of our nocturnal dreams

We’re all entrepreneurial — big-time!

We’re all aspiring technology moguls, businessmen, and businesswomen 

We’re all “crazy competitive” and have “mad skills”

We all have websites, blogs, Twitter accounts, RSS feeds, and we’re all “workin’ on a start-up”

We all have awesome business models, killer marketing strategies, and off-the-map product lines

We’re all ready to “blow-up,” “launch,” “go-live,” “go-wide,” “roll-it-out,” and “take it on up to the next level”

We’re all up-to-our-eyeballs in credit card debt and student loans

We all have bad teeth, can’t afford health insurance, and can barely make rent

We’re all Awesome!

We all have more trophies, medals, and ribbons than Air Jordan, Michael Phelps, and Jenny Thompson combined, but have difficulty comprehending the significance of their meaning and value

We all have awesome tattoos, nose rings, tongue posts, nipple rings, and face piercings

We all feel emotionally mutilated and have been beaten and sexually abused

We all have smartphones, iPods, iPads, Bluetooth, and we’re all sold-out on 5G wireless technology

We all swear by Spotify, iTunes, wear ear buds 24×7, kick-up on Hip-hop, and pack more Apps than Jesus

We all can’t find our pulse, or have the time or inclination to listen to and appreciate the sound of our own heartbeat

We’re all “stoked,” “pumped,” “ripped,” “amped,” and “jacked” on Starbucks, RedBull, Monster, and 5-Hour Energy

We’re all sleep deprived, have little sense of nutrition, and live mostly on fast foods, Twix, Twizzlers, and Snickers

We all smoke, drink, sniff, snort, and shoot, and are wired on prescription drugs 14 hours a day 

We all hate the government and don’t believe or trust anyone

We all hate politics, politicians, teachers, police, bankers, and the mainstream media

We can all drive to the local Dunkin’ Doughnuts blindfolded, but can’t locate Ghana, South Sudan, or Ukraine on a map

We all support individual identities, but don’t give rat’s ass about the plight of POC in Palestine and Yemen

We all think cheating and getting over is respectable and something to be admired

We’re all freaking Awesome!

We’re all confused and don’t have a clue how the world got to where it is today

We’re all terrified of being canceled, outsourced, replaced by a button, and jabbed out of existence

We all have zero savings and can’t see a future past the following Thursday

We’re all feel entitled, but secretly resent the idea of moving back home with our parents

We all have no idea who we are, and really don’t know each other beyond Twitter handles

We all live in fear of being raped, murdered, and imprisoned, and live distant, digital lives

We all have two things in common: We’re all awesome and we’re all one paycheck away from being homeless

We all know that this is our inheritance and that we’re not the cause—we’re the effect

We all don’t know what demented bastards cooked-up this nightmare, but we all wish it would somehow all go away